A toxic trait about myself is I’m a bit of an apologist when it comes to the films of Eli Roth. I find that some of his work is unfairly maligned (I will defend Knock Knock as being an intentionally hilarious dark satire) but I understand that his work isn’t for everyone, especially those with weak constitutions. And in recent years I find it hard to defend his work for obvious reasons so going into Ice Cream Man, (no relation to the Clint Howard cult classic) I thought for nothing else I can have fun watching a gorier spin on Children of the Corn. And yes there are buckets of gore and some of the most shocking deaths you’ll see in a theatrically released horror film outside Terrifer. But there’s little going on here besides being a gore fx showcase and what little depth there is will leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
The film wastes no time as the titular Ice Cream Man, played by a silent Ari Millen, arrives to give every kid in town ice cream which quickly turns them into bloodthirsty killers. Jared, played by Charlie Zeltzer, seemingly the only one in town who is lactose intolerant, finds him and a handful of friends find themselves fighting for their lives against an onslaught of children ready to murder any adult and turn any kid into a killer like them.
That’s about all the plot you get because once the killing starts that’s all that’s going on and for Roth’s credit it’s a twisted fun time for a while. At the risk of sounding like a psychopath most of the kills had me cackling from how overkill they are. A highlight is a creative use of a papercutter which turns into a darkly hilarious version of tag. And if the film decided to just be a montage of practical effects and seeing what creative kills they can pull from the premise I would say Ice Cream Man is a successful matinee time.
However, that would only work for a 30-40 minute short. Ice Cream Man is 87 minutes. So unfortunately there are attempts at story and character and these attempts are either tasteless (do you think that the implication that a pre-teen girl has an eating disorder is funny, Eli Roth does) to questionable to say the least (what we learn about the Ice Cream Man in conjunction with the film’s apparent dislike of lawyers doesn’t sit right with me especially given Roth’s past associations).
Mix all that and with a very abrupt anti-climatic ending and some egregious use of AI, you’re left with a movie that’s fun in the moment but at best you’re gonna forget about it or at worst you write a review and realize how much of a sour taste it leaves behind. Gorehounds might have a fun time but mileage may vary.
2.5/5
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